If you are a music fan, and 'up' on your lyrics of pop and not so pop music, you may have noticed that nearly each week the title of the week's entry is always a befitting song lyric. When I feel inspired to write about something I can easily find one in my brain to fit. This week I chose to use a lyric of my own. I am, after all, a songwriter and this lyric inspires this week's story, or vice a verse.
After I wrote last week's blog about the Indigo Girls I got to thinking - what happened to my old friend Xandra? We had, as you gathered, known each other for a better part of our lives. We had been through boyfriends, girlfriends, weddings, family deaths, and just about anything life had thrown at us. While I'm not entirely certain, I believe the last contact we had was around 9/11 or shortly thereafter. When I look back I don't know why we lost contact. All I know is one day I sent her an email at her job and it got sent back to me as a non existent address.
In the midst of all life has brought to me since that time, more death, birth, relationships, divorces, every once in awhile I have asked myself - how did I loose this person from my life? Did I do something wrong? Did I offend her in some way? Was I a jerk? These are all possibilities since I am not a perfect human being - though not for lack of trying ;).
This past thursday something came over me. I got on the internet and looked for her. I had thought about doing it before but I figured - 'Hey! If anyone wants to find me - they can - I have my own web sight, I have been in the trades, and if she or anyone else hasn't looked for me - than they don't want to be in touch'. So I left it alone as I have done with so many other long lost friends. But still, I overcame my insecurities about why we would have lost touch and called her mother, got her new number and gave it a shot.
It's a tough thing to do - call someone out of the blue like that unsure as to the reception you'll get. Is this going to be a well received call or a tolerated, polite exchange? After 9 years in LA I'm just never sure anymore if anyone means what they say and putting myself out on the line has become less desirable because of that. But I did and I'm glad. While I'm not sure what will come of our 1 1/2 hour chat and the emails that followed, I am sure that I did the right thing. I put myself out there - the phone didn't slam down, the world didn't end and hopefully my old friend and me will stay in touch. Will we ever again sing Eddie Brickell songs together in the middle of a drunken night in The East Village? I don't know. But at the very least, I know she is well, happy, and she's still Xandra.
Thanks for tuning in....Until next Monday....Cheers!!